Issue #9 July 2017
Detail from Alone by Tim Frisch

Ricky Garni

Silent Inventory

When Oliver Hardy kicked a football, it went down five flights of stairs and hit a man right in the head and his hair fell forward and he looked just like one of the Beatles! Although his hair was somewhat sandy, which reminded me more of the Beach Boys’ Dennis Wilson, and he was angry, because of the football, which reminds me of my great grandmother, Ignatia, who detested football in all its forms, mostly because she hated everything, and everything in all its forms, which makes me laugh now. Oh thank you Grandmum—for making me laugh this rainy day in December! Although it isn’t raining yet. It probably really won’t. But sometimes you just get this feeling in your bones. I remember the Beach Boys said this in one of their songs. I forget who sang it—I think the dead one.


I used to own a wonderful set of drums and I recently replaced it with a metronome from Sweden where the national flower is the Linnea Borealis, or “Twinflower”—a flower that is pink, bell-like and fragrant, and grows in pairs.

What I Used To Want

I wanted to buy a car a Subaru
but I saw one at the convenience store
and it was splattered with tiny blue paint dots
that looked like planets the color of easter eggs

And I love dots and I love planets and I love Faye
and I love easter eggs but I don’t want a car that
has all those things on it so perhaps I will buy
a Toyota

Although yesterday I saw a Toyota and inside of it
was a copy of Mein Kampf which was written just once
 by Adolf Hitler so I just went inside the store and bought

A bottle of grape pop. There is nothing bad at all about
grape pop. Orange Pop is almost as good. Cole Porter
is better than both. Now if you have Cole Porter holding
one, you have everything. You don’t need a car.